Etcetera 28.

The mayor’s ten-speed bicycle, reported missing last spring, has been fished out of the river by a retired doctor.

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In a basement restroom of the basketball arena, an unidentified person smashed the mirrors and clogged the drains.

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For pouring popcorn and beer on the umpires, three men were banned from the baseball stadium for life.

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At night, a student at the university awakened his friends by throwing golf balls at their dormitory windows.

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It took five hours for medics to retrieve the cross-country skier from the pine tree that had fallen upon him.

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Several medals and a tapestry have been mysteriously stolen from the trophy room of the town gymnasium.

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Yesterday’s tennis tournament was interrupted when a polar bear, escaped from the zoo, entered the court and tore up the net.

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Threatening passersby with a bowling ball, a disturbed fruit vendor was arrested in front of the post office the other afternoon.

Written By

Joshua Baldwin is an editor at Eephus. He is the author of The Wilshire Sun, a novella. His writing has appeared in The Paris Review, n+1, The Brooklyn Rail, Chicago Review, Prelude, and elsewhere. He lives in Los Angeles. Reach him at josh@eephusmag.com.

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