Etcetera

Joshua Baldwin's weekly column of sports overheard.

Etcetera 29.

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One must have a mind of winter, to see a baseball in the snow.

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There are a bunch of ghosts, bowling on a frozen sea.

Etcetera 28.

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The mayor’s ten-speed bicycle, reported missing last spring, has been fished out of the river by a retired doctor.

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In a basement restroom of the basketball arena, an unidentified person smashed the mirrors and clogged the drains.

Etcetera 27.

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And then nothing — no one on the field.

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In this darkness, there’s no way to see the puck.

Etcetera 26.

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We used to jump rope in our Florsheims. We used to play football in our Oxfords.

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Shoes with spikes, shoes of canvas. Underwater shoes and shoes for dancing.

Etcetera 25.

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In Las Vegas, dog-walking along the fence of McCarran Airport is popular sport.

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Who holds the world record for most consecutive rides on the High Roller observation wheel?

Etcetera 24.

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Playoff baseball will take the blood straight out of your head.

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Maybe if we don’t move, we’ll win. What do you think?

Etcetera 23.

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That there is a winning chess opening my friends.

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Winning is productive and physical. It is very nutritional.

Etcetera 22.

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Are we losing yet?

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We love a good loss, and the best would be a shutout.

Etcetera 21.

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You grow up around here, or why are you a fan?

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Listen to all the fans yelling through their long glass tubes.

Etcetera 20.

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The Pirates sound like a lucky bet. Unless it’s a Tuesday in May.

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Some folks say the Nassau Coliseum is an unlucky room.

Etcetera 19.

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In the bullpen — there’s got to be a jar of instant coffee in here somewhere.

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The team doctor prescribed the swimmers two cups of decaf before bedtime.

Etcetera 18.

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The Sports Museum of Los Angeles is on Main Street.

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You don’t walk through a turnstile but there are turnstiles on display.

Etcetera 17.

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This softball team runs on sloppy joes and orange cake.

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The coach keeps a bottle of Coke on the mantel, in case of emergency.

Etcetera 16.

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Water! At the square root of sports is water.

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Squirt water on the boxer’s head between rounds. Squirt the water all over his jaws.

Etcetera 14.

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These hot summer days, I go to the shore and hide in the library.

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Look, near the floor, a shelf of miscellaneous sports books.

Etcetera 13.

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Clayton Kershaw, the Dodger on the mound.

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He of the high-winding high-wired hustle — chain lightening, a hit-preventing kick. He is strict.

Etcetera 12.

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Dirt, cops, and stairs. Now this is a park. Dodger Stadium, a Tuesday evening in June.

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A dedicated grounds crew here, with the blue hose to shoot.

Etcetera 11.

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Follow each other through depot and plant and arrive at Angel Stadium about 11:55.

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Popcorn, kettle corn, cotton candy. This is the fourth oldest park in the Majors.

Etcetera 10.

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This is a major thunderstorm, let’s duck into the pool hall and crack some balls.

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Take the table in the back there and watch the felt sonny.

Etcetera 9.

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Oh, to be low on steroids.

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It is difficult to surprise a generation brought up on steroids and earthquakes.

Etcetera 8.

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The beach has a fever. All aboard the blimp to Huntington.

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Sitting in the bamboo bleachers, did you guys see the whale?

Etcetera 7.

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It’s a downhill ride to Venice, California. Low tide this afternoon around half past one, and the water is 62 degrees Fahrenheit.

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Yes, snake handling is a sport. Now let’s eat this pizza in the handball court.

Etcetera 6.

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Friday morning in Las Vegas. A perfect golf breeze blows down Paradise Road, then everything stops.

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The joggers of the Strip unite in the shadow of a junk removal site.

Etcetera 5.

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Right now New York City is a hockey town and the pigeons are waiting for tennis.

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Three dollars at the deli will get you a six pack of Sky Bounce ping pong balls.

Etcetera 4.

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Barbering is serious sport.

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If you have on a batting helmet of course the barber will only clean up your face.

Etcetera 3.

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A vine is for climbing and swinging. The street named after one is for walking on stars, from Sunset to Hollywood and down.

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The crack of the backbeat ends in a monument of surf: The Beach Boys are a name on the Walk of Fame.

Etcetera 2.

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Paris is a city one would like to know. There are metal ping pong tables in the parks.
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Walking is one of the sports. The map is the playbook, how you use it is a question.

Etcetera 1.

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If a kid can toss a ball before he knows how to read and write, then sports come before words.
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Fishing is one of the oldest sports. People even play it to survive. In that case, is it still a sport?